Beer Haiku

This weekend, during a slow day at the winery, I came across Beer Haiku Daily.

Since I love haiku, I decided to submit one...

...and it is today's Haiku of the Day!

Carbonara: Italian for "Fuck it, let's eat"

I've got the blues today. For a few reasons.

First, my holiday break is almost over. School starts on Monday, and I am not looking forward to starting a new semester. I am currently an adjunct at two colleges where I teach composition. That means that I am technically a part-timer at each school, even though I usually teach 5 or 6 total classes a semester. The life of an adjunct is a tiresome one, especially since the low income usually means the requirement of another job. Anyway, I work my ass off, don't get paid enough for it, don't receive benefits or tenure, and haven't had any prospects of a full-time position. *sigh*

Each semester I apply for a full-time job, and each semester I am passed over by someone who has more education (that PhD who can't get a professorship anywhere), more experience, more publications, more presentations, more kissassiness. Applying again and again and being rejected again and again is demoralizing, depressing, embarrassing, frustrating, and exhausting.

Second, I am having cat problems. My beloved Oliver, who I've have for fourteen years, has been having some litter box issues...as in refusing to use the litter box. As a result, he is quarantined to a small bedroom (one with no carpet, thank god) for most of the day. I took him to the vet last week; apparently he has another urinary tract infection. This is an on-going problem. Now, he is taking two medications for 30 days. And still pissing on the floor.

The kicker is that I am trying to sell my house (a 100-year-old Victorian in Alton, Illinois...if you're interested), and we all know that odor of cat urine does not help the resale value. I have a few other things to try to remedy the situation, but some of my friends are telling me to put the cat down (even though he's otherwise healthy).

Let's see, what else?

Oh yeah, that damned diet idea. No good. It lasted about a week, then the Prices invited me over for wine, then I broke down and ate toast (eek!) for breakfast, then I had fondue for dinner last night.

And, Tuesday marks the 12th anniversary of my mother's death.

So, in an attempt to avoid cleaning up cat piss again or thinking about other miserable shit, I spent the afternoon browsing around TasteSpotting (aka Food Porn Heaven). And I came upon this picture: from CookThink.

At that point, I said to hell! with the diet and decided to make carbonara for dinner (a dish I'd never made before).

But, just to make myself feel a little better about that, I washed a few loads of dishes beforehand.

Then, I cut up three slices of bacon. Crisped them up in a pan. Boiled some macaroni noodles (because I didn't have spaghetti). Beat up an egg with some cream. Added the cooked noodles to the bacon. Poured in the egg (off the heat). Added salt, pepper, garlic, & parmesan....

Voila! Macaroni & Cheese alla Carbonara


Just as I was sitting down with my bowl of pasta con bacon & happiness, my friend Ashby called and asked me if I was having a shitty day, and I replied in the affirmative, proceeding to tell him Oliver's pee-pee troubles. And my culinary prescription of "eat a bowl of carbonara and call it a day." According to Ashby, that was a perfect remedy since "carbonara" is Italian for "Fuck it, let's eat."

Upon hearing my tales of woe, Ashby invited himself and his wife (and their two friends) over for wine. How could I say no? He offered to bring tasty treats from Whole Foods and a "hilariously naughty CD to listen to while we get drunk." Their mission: To make me have fun.

All the carbonara in the world couldn't beat that.

Afternoon Quickie: Cream of Asparagus Soup

1. Saute 1/2 of a small onion (chopped) & 1 garlic clove (crushed) in a tad of olive oil until just soft.

2. Add a bunch of asparagus stems (leftover from the tips you cut off and ate with dinner a couple nights ago) and a sprinkling of salt & pepper. Cook about 10 minutes.

3. Add 1 can of chicken broth (fat-free, low-sodium). Simmer until asparagus is soft.

4. Blend with immersion blender (or in counter-top blender).

5. Simmer on low another 10 minutes to thicken.

6. Add just a splash of fat-free half & half and a bit of grated parmesan cheese.

7. Slurp loudly from a big spoon.

8. Curse even more loudly when you burn your tongue because you are too impatient and want to eat this gloriously easy, tasty soup now.

My Bitchin' Kitchen

Here are some new toys I've gotten for my kitchen over the past several months:

Mario Batali Panini Grill & Press, Chianti


Lodge Logic 5-Quart Pre-Seasoned Dutch Oven



Circulon Elite 8- and 10-Inch Open Deep Skillets, 2-Pack



Wine Table



Triangle Serving Plates



Three-Tier Serving Bowls



Three-Tier Serving Trays

I christened the panini pan recently during an afternoon of sandwich experimentation. I made ham & swiss panini with buttered Texas Toast, with French bread, and with a sandwich roll. The buttered bread didn't really work, because the bread stuck to the pan, broke open on the bottom, leaked melted cheese. The roll was also a bit too soft. I think the crustier French bread worked the best. Next time, I'll try getting the pan & lid really hot, wrapping the sandwich in foil, then letting it cook under the lid until it's done...no flipping, no sticking.

Look for Cuban sandwich recipes in the next month or so. I plan to make soups, stews, & even bread in the dutch oven, too!

Huevos Rancheros (Viva las Breakfast!)

I've never really been a big breakfast kinda gal. That's because I usually run late in the mornings, cursing and fumbling as I rush out the door. For the past year, however, I've been making a point to get up earlier and enjoy lazy mornings, complete with big breakfasts, with the idea that a happier morning will make for a happier day, and eventually a happier life. (I really don't mean that to sound as grim as it seems).

There is some soothing, almost artistic, about making a good breakfast...like the Eggs Benedict I made last August. Since I am still on vacation (four 5 more days), I've been making (healthy) breakfast every morning. So far this week I've had a veggie frittata, egg muffins, eggs sardou, huevos rancheros.

The sardou & rancheros were new recipes for me.

I first had eggs sardou at Commander's Palace in New Orleans, and I hastily tried to recreate that breakfast this week. I totally flaked out by using canned artichoke hearts (too vinegary), frozen creamed spinach (too bland), and over-easy eggs (instead of poached) sans hollandaise sauce. It was so awful that I couldn't even eat it. I plan to redeem myself by making authentic eggs sardou this weekend...diet be damned!

The huevos rancheros were pretty tasty, though...even thought I chose to forgo the corn tortilla in the name of good health. Instead, I put some canned fat-free refried beans (warmed, of course) on a plate, topped it with eggs sunny-side-up, a homemade ranchero sauce, and shredded cheddar jack cheese.

For the sauce, I sauteed half of a small onion (chopped) with 2 vine-ripened tomatoes (blitzed to a pulp in the food processor) and 1 garlic clove (crushed). When the onion was soft, I added 2 chipotle peppers (chopped) and 2 tablespoons of adobo sauce (the sauce the canned chipotles come in). This simmered on the stove until it was thick and most of the watery liquid had evaporated.

So good! I have some sauce left in the fridge and plan to mix it into cheesy scrambled eggs tomorrow. (I think it would be good slathered on cooked meats, too.)